![]() ![]() Shout at your gull children when they try to enter the gull office then wallow in your gull guilt until your gull wife tells you to come to gull bed. Spend gull hours agonising at your gull desk over a suitable gull rhyme for your gull introduction quip. ![]() Set up a gull security company called Gull Guard. Shuu used the same excuse I pull out whenever Pat asks me what I was doing all afternoon when it definitely wasn't murders.Ī segment of dialogue caused to me imagine a backstory for the po-po: retire from the gull police force. I decided that if I were as rich as Sakuya I would buy a dictionary with all the words in it. Yuuya did a great impression of a product you rub on door hinges when they start to creak, or perhaps for pouring into pans prior to shallow-frying. I wondered whether I should go into therapy again. I remembered how much I wanted to bang this character and then how if you do manage to get his "good" ending he chops off your head and puts it in a jar and then dies in a shoot out with the po-po. I delivered a scathing burn for which Sakuya required gallons of aloe vera lotion. I discovered and immediately adopted a fantastic new saying, which I now pull out whenever somebody wants me to pay attention to something I don't care about. I haves been escorted out of multiple stores, usually for setting off everything noisy in the toy aisles and trying out the tiny kids bikes, because we live in an unjust universe. I was greatly moved when the po-po shut the twins down. I forgot my questions when I discovered the twins and I are kindred souls. I asked some pointed questions about the weird creatures with beaks and legs, in a game where most characters are so very definitely actual birds that their depictions are real-world photos. I admired the localisation team's capacity for nailing down my exact personal conversational tone. Spoilers for the first two chapters follow. Down a few cans of Lighten The Heck Up™ and enjoy the ride as I run down some things that happened to me while playing. Not that it would have helped you anyway, you joyless crustacean. Have you played Hatoful Boyfriend, the pigeon dating sim that not so much derails as jumps the tracks, gathers speed and leaps into orbit, transforming into a multi-limbed organic space vessel bringing peace and love to the universe? No? Then you'll be missing a lot of context for Holiday Star, the standalone Christmas-themed expansion now available on Linux, Mac, PC, PS4 and Vita. ![]()
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